Have I ever mentioned how much I love reading parenting books? Good ones contain pearls of wisdom that can only be appreciated after having struggled with kids. Like anything worth having, struggling to be a good parent and raise your kids better than you thought you could, is something I have to be constantly working at. When I first found out that other parents deal with the same problems that I deal with, it was so relieving, like a weight was being lifted, but even better, was finding out that some of the things I was doing as a parent but feeling guilty about were actually the right things and I could stop feeling guilty (like following through with well deserved punishments). I just started reading a book that was written for Primary teachers, but the concepts obviously apply to parenting as well. It is called "Stop Struggling, Start Teaching," and on the fourth page it had a really great quote that just connected with me in so many ways, I wanted to write about it here.
"Discipleship requires all of us to translate doctrines, covenants, ordinances, and teachings into improved personal behavior. Otherwise we may be doctrinally rich but end up developmentally poor." --Neal A. Maxwell.
I love the cognitive responsibility he lays on us. Knowing all about the Gospel will be of trivial value to us, if it doesn't actually change what we do, and how we treat each other. For some it may come more naturally to be kind, loving, forgiving, as well as consistent, and even keeled, but for me I really have to work at it. As I am looking for intellectual challenges (not only to stave of Alzheimer's and depression), I should probably look beyond getting to the next level of Webkinz games and really try to "translate doctrines, covenants, ordinances, and teachings into improved personal behavior," which would entail identifying my weaknesses (yikes) and setting goals to make baby steps towards improvement.
In the spirit of all good twelve step programs I am going to publicly write my goals out here to keep myself more accountable for them: I am going to try to love my kids more, by praying to be filled with love for them like I did with my investigators on my mission.
I am not saying that I don't love my kids (as you well know) but I believe that I will be better (more cognizant and aware and engaged) at (correctly) disciplining them if I am actively trying to love them.
If you are interested, my other two favorite parenting books are "1,2,3 Magic" and "How to Behave so your Kids will too!"
11 years ago
3 comments:
I love the Neal Maxwell quote. But, I must admit that I have never ever read a parenting book. I don't say that in a proud way, because maybe I could have actually learned a thing or two on this road. I just never read them. I also never had any kids in preschool. Maybe I am an old-school parent or something! LOL Nice post, though.
I know a lot of people really get a lot out of those books.
I love Dr. Spock dearly. He has helped back me up on some things that Greg wasn't so sure about and has helped us to have a really unified parenting style. Besides that book, I only have one on sleep that we bought when Evie was a newborn because we were determined to NOT have ANY sleep problems with our kids like we saw others struggling with. And we don't.
Really for me one of the best things is to hear that I'm not the only one, or that someone else's kids are doing the same ANNOYING things. That goes such a long way in helping me. As you say, it's really a relief.
And I wish we lived near each other because I would love for you to help me on my goals and I'd help you on yours. Plus I'd get to know your darling kids.
Parenting books have been very helpful with our Big Guy. It turns out a lot of it didn't apply b/c he is bipolar, not misbehaving, but there were one or two things we learned that really saved our sanity.
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